How to speak to a German

Right, so I'm not a big fan of labelling people according to their nationality. For some reason, though, it seems to be a big landmark for many. Like when I was getting off the tube with a group of noisy foreign students, and this woman turned to me, wrinkling her nose, saying "Are they GERMAN?!" (which they weren't, of course) So why did she think they were? Because they were loud? Or rude? Or, to quote my boss, "as cruel as the Dutch"? And why did she think I wasn't?!

Now, I really don't think there is such a thing as 'a German'. But still, assuming that all Germans share some traits or cultural tradition or whatever you want to break national identity down to, there must be something that puts you into the position of cheering for your football team, or driving a particular car, or drink your nation's beer. And following that, some sort of identity that has to be dealt with when addressing your odd German friend. Which is what you always wanted to know. Here's a bit of a guide, then!

First of all, don't be put off if you're all happy-smiley and they just give you this look - as in, 'what ARE you going on about?' Small talk seems to be an alien concept to the Germans, and it's really difficult to do when you're not used to saying things without actually saying things. If you ever hear me talk about the weather, be assured that even though if I try to be sincerely friendly, I'm cracking up inside. We seem to be following a reverse pattern than other nationalities when asked how we are. There's no easy answer like 'Fine thank you' for your average German. This question needs pondering. A lot. And we need to weigh whether that lady letting us jump the queue at the post office really makes up for the cup of coffee in the morning that had not been hot enough. Be prepared for a well thought-through talk on how I am when you ask me!

Secondly, don't be put off if Germans come across as rude, as they don't mean to be. They are just naming things as they are. If you are sat at a dinner table, they say "Can I have the bread?" instead of saying "Does anyone want more bread?" in hoping someone might get the hint and pass it over. Pretty straightforward stuff, that.

Recently I examined the German lexicon again, and was surprised at how much it reflects a German's attitude to life. Where English-speaking people have tons of different words you have to learn, Germans just make compounds for the words they need.

Thus, 'watch' means 'Armbanduhr', which translates as 'arm + strap + clock', makes sense, doesn't it.

Same in 'tv', which is 'Fernseher', 'distant + viewer'.

Or 'towel', translated as 'Handtuch' which is 'hand + cloth'. Easy peasy!


And lastly, aimed at the Brits among you: as much as you like to shorten word, don't ever call the Germans germs. It really doesn't go down well.

uber-tubing

MORDEN

African lady reading her bible.
Spanish looking man reading his London A-Z, confused look on his face.
Kid tumbling over people's feet.
Early morning commuter annoyed at not having room for spreading out his newspaper.
Woman missing her stop for getting too absorbed in her book.
Couple kissing - loudly and unembarassed.
Indian girl doing her make-up.
Elegant business woman eating a croissant in most unelegant fashion.
Couple jumping of the train hurriedly in uncertainty, just to be annoyed when doors close.
Old man trying to get through to other compartment.
Army guy trying to make space for his three massive bags. Unwrapping a Mars bar to celebrate his success.
Books being shovelled into bags when train stops - Steele, Pilcher, Lessing, Grisham, Greene.
Loud music.
Girl discussing mortgage on new house.
Nervous looking man with roses.
Boxing through to get out.
Run in tights. Work hasn't even started.
Fat man snoring away.
Middle-aged lady with...

CLAPHAM SOUTH

Let's *Shake* it! (Censored)

Today I finished one of the hardest modules ever: 'Shakespeare'. Just like that - 'Shakespeare'. Not, 'Shakespeare's King Lear', or, 'The Comedies of Shakespeare' or even 'Shakespeare's Sonnets', no, simply: 'Shakespeare'. So I can claim to be an expert now, haha!
Don't we love him all, our Billy? Maybe I should say beforehand that I love my degree, and that I think it is relevant life in general, just so you know!

Well, anyway, the things you learn in a Shakespeare module. Some of the more random conclusions were

"Women and hankies tend to get lost" (a synopses of Othello)

"Have a chocolate, Shakespeare is dead" (when everyone else celebrates St George's Day)

"Now we have a corpse and two men in a pit" (on Titus Andronicus, which really is like 'Saw', at least the clip I've seen!)

This of course only happens when you are a bit detached from it all, and wake up during a lecture thinking, where has the past half hour gone? But on revising the plays, which I did, and hard!, I actually came to like them.

However, I need to say something now which I couldn't possibly say in my exam (although I was in one of my funny moods when I sat it and really had to restrain myself).

- Now, to the kids among you: the next part will be really boring for you. So I suggest you go away and play a bit, and then come back later. Really boring, I mean, lots of silly words you don't understand, so you'd be much better off doing some kids-stuff. Ok? See you in a bit. -

Right, so they're gone. What I was trying to say is, this Shakespeare is a real genius when it comes to cursing. At least for someone his age, I mean, of his time. I know most people put Shake in the drawer where they keep all those little hearts, dried rose leaves, scented hankies and, if you're really hard-core, caskets with tears you collected.
You know a censored Shakespeare then. Here is a concise list of the foul words I've learnt from him: (yes, I am this weird)

* YOU... foot-landraker!
* YOU...long-staff sixpenny striker
* YOU...mad mustachio purple-hued maltworm (deffo my favourite)
* YOU...burgomaster
* YOU...fat-kidneyed rascal
* YOU...bacon-fed knave
* YOU...grand-juror
* YOU...woolsack

and so on. There's loads, and they're funny!

But this makes me wonder... sometimes I think Shake might well be overrated. I've always said this about the German genuises like Goethe, Schiller and Co. - at least ever since I watched this film based on true facts in which Schiller was portrayed as being high on foul apples when he started writing. This is, quite literally, sick. (although, considering this I've got a bowl of rather sad looking fruit sitting right next to me but this is just different!)

For all those who have read this far, 1.) well done and 2.) I need to add something. Now, you might think, who is this Lena to be criticising the like, best writer of the world??! Well, certainly not someone in the position to (although I was made to do so in my degree, which leads me to the futility of that whole criticising business, but that's another story). But to put things in relation, I would like to point to what I'm doing at the moment. After all, I've written an exam about Shakespeare today. I could have just put all these books away, forget about it and watch some stupid soap. But what am I doing? Writing a blog about Shakespeare. Such is my dedication.

Transport Studies

Again - exam time. Prime time for blogging. I know the reason is NOT because I want to procrastinate, not in the slightest. It's just, my brain's synapses are making synopses a lot easier when they're working on high speed anyway. So I thought, let's fuel some of them into this blog-thing and feel less guilty because people who are reading this are just as bad procrastinators (is that even a word) like me. So there, better face the facts ;-)!

Anyway, this train-blog (train/brain, you get the pun, right? see 29/3/10) the other day really geared my thoughts towards transport in general. (Notice the nice usage of transport related vocab, in case you, especially you non-lit students, hadn't already noted - really putting a lot of effort into this =P)
So when I walked past the transport studies building, I didn't just walk past, but started to ponder what people are actually doing in there. Sounds a bit like designing street signs, but if there's anyone who's reading this and also transport studies, I apologise and please do correct me if I'm wrong.

The cream of tran-sport is moto-sport, no doubt, which brings me to the amazingness of German cars. No, don't go away, I know what you think. I realise myself that it really is not in my nature to talk about cars (unless in a very cynical way), or to revel in the greatness of my country (especially because I haven't contributed anything in this particluar field and am unlikely to do so, exepct of course if you count painting flowers on a VW bus) and I won't be sharing car-ing for long. Just a quick, or shall I say, fast, note. So I saw this link to Porsche the other day -



- which at first made me smile (the excitement of it all!!), but by the end of which I was almost converted to change career, become a rich and famous hedge fund manager, and save up to buy one of those hotties. I said, almost. Because then I remembered that there are much cooler things in the world, like this -



When I'm at Heidelberg I can hear this nerve-racking revving every other Sunday and while it really does not comply with my idea of a relaxing afternoon, this vid is a slight comfort. It takes away the silliness of it all.
And to dwell in my triumph and resentment against sport cars, watch this!



So who said a decent VW bus doesn't know how the wind blows?!

I can't believe how much I've got to say about cars. And on top of that it just came to my mind that I actually own a model car, presented to me with much pomp and chocolate on my 19th birthday by Bekky, Börny and Eva - an old green mini, of course. To stop me stop in the middle of the road when I see a real one, waving and shouting hysterically to express my appreciation of the driver's good taste. Which I, however, still do, in those rare moments when I can't contain myself (or when Bekky, Börny and Eva aren't around).

Actually, however, I'm into much more peaceful and environmentally friendly vehicles. Like bikes. Although I have a habit of getting into accidents, and many scars to prove it, but that's another story. I do take cycling seriously, though, like every German student, taking it so far as to use it to go through a McDonalds drive-through. Certainly cheered that guy's day up, haha! Much recommended to have a go at, it's awesome fun!

I love the creativeness of vehicles, and what you can do with them. In Leeds they've got a thing called roller disco, which is what it says on the tin, a club where you dance on skates, just like that!
Way cooler, however, is what this chap did with his wheely, absolutely inspiring!



Suppose I could go on and on. Driving it through the roof. Which reminds me of another crazy event that happened in my rather recent lifetime -



Maybe being away from home makes me think about getting from A to B a lot more.
To come full circle - or, attempting a final pun on today's topic, to finish the race course, A and B now finally brings me back to the reason why I'm actually sitting in front of my laptop - to work on my essay...

Hammer-Gott!

Ich muss jetzt mal erzählen, wie meine Pläne für den Sommer verwirklicht wurden. Ich bin echt noch total geflasht davon, wie super dass alles wieder hingehauen hat - und will dafür meinem Vater im Himmel alle Ehre geben!

Ich wollte unbedingt noch ein bisschen in der UK bleiben, nachdem mein Unikurs hier vorbei ist. Also hab ich mich bei verschiedenen Stellen in London und Leeds beworben, aber natürlich insgeheim gehofft, mal für ne Weile in Landaaan wohnen zu können...

Na, und prompt hab ich ein Interview bei einem Verlag in Clapham bekommen - an dem einen Tag in meinen Osterferien, an dem ich mal nicht auf Reisen war...

Das Vorstellungsgespräch war so ungefähr das angenehmste, das ich je hatte. Wir haben ungefähr die Hälfte der Zeit übers Wandern geredet, und wie praktisch dass ich die zwei Wochen davor in Englands Norden rumgetourt bin und somit neben meinen konzentrierten small talk skills sogar echt was beizutragen hatte!
Ich wurde unter anderem gefragt, ob ich schon mal in andere europäischen Ländern gereist bin. In abeneteuerlustiger Stimmung hab ich angefangen, von Slowenien zu erzählen, und auf Nachfrage bestätigt, dass die Landschaft dort einfach bombastisch ist. Und es gibt sogar Bären in den Bergen dort... kaum war das raus, hab ich es in einem Anflug von Selbstzweifel auch schon bitter bereut. - Hallo?! Lena, du bist in einem Vorstellungsgespräch, und fängst an über Bären in Slowenien zu reden? Ja, wo sind die Tassen... - ABER alles halb so wild. Sondern eigentlich ganz prima - denn als ob ich das geahnt hätte, wurde mir gleich das Buch-Projekt 'Bären in Slowenien' vorgestellt, das in Planung ist. Ehrlich.
Interviews können gar nicht besser laufen, wenn man gleich auf der Stelle einen Job angeboten bekommt, sogar ausnahmsweise für nur vier Monate statt sechs. LÄUFT!
Auch, wenn ich nach ein paar Luftsprüngen in Clapham Common mein gesamtes Handy-Vermögen für einen Anruf nach Deutschland verschwendet hab...

Und dann, die Wohnungssuche, mein Lieblingsthema (ich triefe vor Ironie). Nach einigen misglückten Versuchen, ein Zimmer per Telefon von Leeds aus klar zu machen, hab ich heut morgen einfach nochmal Gott darauf hingewiesen, dass ich
- BALD ein Zimmer dort will
- ein ZENTRALES Zimmer in London will (wenn es geht)
- mit anderen Christen zusammen wohnen will (wenn es geht)
- ein BILLIGES Zimmer haben will (wenn es geht)
- ein Zimmer in einem meiner Lieblingsviertel haben will (wenn es geht. Das ist kein übertriebener Wunsch - es geht mir nicht um Belgravia, sondern ich will da wohnen wo ich denke, ich sei in Pakistan...)

Und Gott hat mich mal wieder beschämt.
Kaum gesagt, bekomme ich einen Anruf von einer netten alten englischen Lady, die meine Anzeige in einer Kirche gesehen hat. Die 'down the road' von meinem Verlag wohnt; die mich noch nicht mal vorher sehen will; die in Tooting wohnt, bei den ganzen Pakistanis und Sri Lankanern; und die überhaupt nicht übers Geld nachgedacht hat - sie will einfach ein bisschen company.
Anders als ich gedacht hab? Na klar. Aber einfach total schön - das könnte echt was sein!
Freu mich voll auf dieses ganze London-Erlebnis! Mit so einem Gott an der Seite...=D

A word about train journeys. When you think of it, it is quite a funny concept. There are so and so many people from all walks of life stuck in the same moving worm, or fish womb if you like (modern Jonah, realise?), with nothing in common but the same direction in which they are going that time and day. And apart from the regular noisy children (I love children), stinking food, and snoring old men you do get some weird characters every once in a while.

Like that conductor on the train to Bath the other day, who was very aware of it being his 32th wedding anniversary that day, and who made sure everyone else knew as well. Well, actually that wasn't very weird, just adorable. He must have a very happy wife. In his best of moods, he asked for my railcard. His response when I hold it under his nose: "Smashing!"
He then tried to clear the way for someone with a LOT of luggage: "Watch your legs, please. I mean, don't literally watch your legs."
Next, he asked for tickets from Cheltenham. "Anyone who's got one of those, show them and you might potentially win a prize!" He was lovely.

On the way back, however, things changed. Good facts first: no one ate horrible stinking food; I wasn't thrown out of the train; I even had a seat.
BUT so did those football fans. Nothing wrong with football fans. It's just, they had a massive provision of beer (and stuff). You could probably have worked the train engine with that if it had failed midway. But the train went as smoothly as a spaceship, which left them with all these litres (or pints rather) of beer to consume.
So, the nearer we came to Leeds, the merrier they got, with little intervals of, let's call it, discord, which led them to drive some of their party out of the train.
Now, I find football fans in England slightly more amusing than in Germany, but mainly because I tend to prefer English things to German things in general at the moment, I suppose.
At first they discussed the match at length. Then, they found someone's music a little bit disturbing (not that it was any louder than their palaver), but they tried to make them aware by dancing to it. (intended meaning: "Icanhearyourmusicitssoloud evenIoutsideofyourheadphoneworldcanhearitswitchitoff!") It didn't work, so they tried it a bit more directly. To be honest, at that stage I wouldn't have wanted to mess with them, but the person was brave enough to resist. Fortunately not much later those football fans were so drunk they seemed to not notice anymore. They were obviously supporters of Leeds, but weren't quite sure of themselves anymore. "Did we win?" was one of their brilliant but very earnest questions. They then looked for clues of what they were doing and where they just came from, and decided that cheering was a crucial part of that business, so they started to cheer for the names of the stations we passed through.
Other passengers were either very amused or very upset. The upset part had to sort out problems for themselves, anyway. They argued away about VERY private matters, well yeah, where else than in a fully booked out train would you want to discuss such things. I do hope that girl who got out in Sheffield will sort things out with her flatmate, as she really wants to spend more time with Phil and Chris always gets jealous, and I suppose, we've all been there at some point.

I wouldn't normally be quite so accurate in my observations, as I tend to get absorbed in some book, but due to a cancellation it was rather late and I couldn't concentrate on anything other than my inner train rant which I now got off my chest.

We all get where we wanted to be eventually. And to conclude with the words of those dedicated Leeds supporters (in despise): "This train wins!"

Reflections on reflections

Denn wir sehen jetzt mittels eines Spiegels undeutlich, dann aber von Angesicht zu Angesicht. Jetzt erkenne ich stückweise, dann aber werde ich erkennen, wie auch ich erkannt worden bin.
~ 1 Kor 13,12 ~

Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
~ 1 Cor 13,12 ~



...ON WATER
















...ON BUILDINGS























...IN MIRRORS











Wenn aber das Vollkommene kommt, wird das, was stückweise ist, weggetan werden.
~ 1 Korinther 13,10 ~

But when completeness comes, what is in part disappears.
~ 1 Cor 13,10 ~